Name: Jo  Tocher

Organisation: Life After Miscarriage

Award Category: Awareness Advocate

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My Plea:

Twenty years ago, I discovered at my 20 week scan that my baby boy, John wasn’t developing properly. He had fluid in his stomach and we were told that he was unlikely to live much longer. He passed away a few days later and I had to deliver my dead baby. There is nothing that prepares you for this trauma. It took me a good long time to start to feel “normal” again. There was not much help and support at that time.

I was working in the corporate sector, a busy office with a very unsympathetic boss. So, when I returned to work, feeling battered and bruised both physically and emotionally I did not get the support I needed. The loss of John completely changed me and the work I did lost its meaning. I knew I was looking for something else to focus on, quite what at that point, I didn’t know. The company sent me for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) which helped me come to terms with what had happened, but it didn’t help resolve the grief and pain I was suffering from.

Health and wellbeing was something which had always really interested me. So, I left my job and retrained as Aromatherapist. Gradually I built the business and trained as a Wellbeing Coach. I also retrained in healing therapies, talking therapies and energy work.

It took me three years to feel ready to try again for another baby, I was delighted when my rainbow baby was born 9 months later. When she was two, we decided to try again for another, and I miscarried at 8 weeks. This was again traumatic, however I decided to try again, and we were lucky enough to have rainbow baby no 2 a year later.

Life was busy raising two children. At times I would reflect a on how life would have been if John had lived. Not wanting to affect my girls, I tried not to dwell on it too much.

As my girls became teenagers and less dependent on me, I began to feel very strongly about my loss. I reflected that I didn’t have the help that I needed. My experience had been locked away. I thought I had dealt with it at the time, but soon began to realise there was more to work on. So I set off on yet another journey of self-development and soon began to realise I had the skills from my therapy work and my life experience to work with women through their loss. In doing so, it has given meaning to the loss of John.

I became aware of many other women, men and families, who were suffering with their loss, as a silent pain. In a survey I conducted, 95% of people struggled on alone after their loss. I was horrified! There is no way I would want women to feel as alone as I did, to feel as unsupported as I did and to go back to work feeling devastated and overwhelmed by their baby loss experience. I began to raise awareness of pregnancy and baby loss on Social Media, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and have had many comments from people who find it comforting that there are people out there giving baby loss a voice.

I was delighted to come Highly Commended for the Voice Category, in the National Mpower Awards in June 2019, for giving Pregnancy Loss a Voice.

I run a Facebook group where I support women through the group and also run the Life after Loss programme, where I work on a one to one basis or in small groups.

There are people who struggle to afford my programmes (and I have to make a living from my work) so I also have a pro-bono scheme, which people can apply for.

I often give talks in groups to raise the awareness and I regularly blog and have written a book – “Life after Miscarriage – Your Guide to healing from Pregnancy Loss”.

I have been interviewed on radio (Marlow FM & SW London Radio) and been interviewed on many Podcasts.

My mission is to raise awareness and give Baby Loss a voice in an all too silent world. Every pregnancy matters, every loss matters, every woman matters – we are 1 in 4.

There is a website which has supporting material
https://life-after-miscarriage.com/

Alongside the book and website, I started a Facebook group aimed at women working in the corporate environment. This now has 132 members
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Miscarriageandpregnancylossforcorporatewomen/

There is also a Facebook Page offering advice and support. This has 254 likes

https://www.facebook.com/miscarriageandpregnancyloss/

I also have my Facebook Page which has 717 likes and guided meditations, energy releasing work, and sharing in a safe and supportive environment https://www.facebook.com/YourHealthyHeartandMore/

It is great to receive feedback like this –

“I feel like I am a completely different person now since my sessions with Jo. She absolutely helped me change my life and gave me the tools I had been unknowingly searching for to get me where I needed to be. I cannot praise her enough and I will forever be grateful for all she has done to help me along my journey.” Anji

Qualifications:
Wellbeing Coach
Member of the Federation of Holistic Therapists
TIDHA – Tisserand Institute Diploma of Holistic Aromatherapy
Hypnosis – Foundation of Hypnosis Ct Hyp
Reiki Healing Level 2
Energy Alignment Method Mentor
The DeMartini Method Facilitator

What Others Have Said

Jo’s recently released book is practical, empathetic and supportive. I wish there had been a book like this when I suffered my loss. It will make a big difference to many women suffering , enabling their partners, friends and family to help them, understand, support and come to terms with what has happened. In truth I feel it will help the suffers know that it is normal to go through such a huge range of emotions as well as understand why.
Jo’s warmth and kindness follows through with her Facebook group supporting those going through and indeed who have gone through this very difficult time. It’s a much needed book and I for one am very glad it’s out there to assist everyone.